you know somethings in life are so fragile.
misplaced expectations.
but its also kinda expected judging the situation
its not the first time too.
probably the last time.

pretty sick of some thing.
maybe many things.
dunnoe why i spend time chasing fruitless things
who am i doing it for?
why do i even bother.
because i care
evven though i say i don't
but so what
they don't even care

today was a rather fruitful day
my alarm clock was set to silent
reached sch slightly late
fell sick when i got out of the bus( the drivers are seriously evil)
S T O for patient
but my right eye was blocked so my fave dr took it out for me!
haha.

obturated the canals.
called the dealers
went off.

since it was early i decided to take a detour.
had yella fellows!
interesting concept.
sat at MOS
pondered.
its being a long time since i had time to sit down and stare into the open
and people watch
and think
and think
and think
in general
i feel like my time here has been spent.
other than school i have no life
i wonder what it'll be like when school's over
there's just no holding power
this little city that use to captivate my heart has lost its dazzle
i dream somewhere else all the time
i see myself in its vast green fields in it large city
in front of the vast ocean.
just so much to see/do/take in
i dun feel any belonging to this city where i call home
i see my self like a pilgrim going through some journey that will hopefully end soon
and that i want to uproot fly break free
stay away form this city
it just does not hold my heart.
its true my world has shrunk
shrunk so much i know what i want
and i know what i have found and gained and learned in this city to make me want to leave it.
sigh.
i want to dissapear into nothingness
but can a man leave that sort of life
when all the friends dissapear
and where there's not even such a thing as family?